I have sat at my desk tonight typing and deleting for about half an hour. I'm not really sure what I want to say.
Part of me is thinking heavy thoughts even though I'm quite happy. I will blame that on today's viewing of "Shutter Island."
Another part of me is thinking about a million little things: how pretty the dried flowers on top of the bookcase are; how much I want to visit Prague some day; camping; dear friends I want to see so bad I can almost imagine them beside me; my Grampa; how good it felt to wear my flip-flops today; kayaking; love in all its maddening complexity; boys; the awesome pizza I had for dinner; whether or not go to a salon and get a hair cut or do it myself; how incredibly long this sentence is.
I can't seem to quiet the thoughts, which reminds me of a book I once read. It was called "Long Wandering Prayer" and was written by David Hansen, a pastor in the town where I went to high school. His basic premise was that we should not be ashamed when our thoughts wander in prayer. God does not need exact, well-spoken speeches with three points. He's okay with meandering. Hansen even suggested physically wandering when praying. Not all the time, but sometimes. I was glad to hear that because I walk around praying aimlessly all the time.
So tonight, Lord, I thank you for awesome pizza, camping, flowers, flip-flops, and kayaking. I put all the uncertain business of boys and dating and marriage in your hands. I pray for those who have asked me to pray -- you know who they are. I admit that at this exact moment I'm thinking about grabbing a snack because I'm hungry. And I'm sure glad you like me just as I am.