Last year of The Aughts

Ten years ago today, I was helping one of my best high school friends babysit. It wasn't an especially glamorous way to say goodbye to the 1900s, but it was still special to be with such a good friend on what some believed could be the last day of civilization as we knew it.

Yep. It was Y2K.

I was a senior in high school, and my classmates would every now and then whisper to each other the question we faced in such a time: Will we graduate?

It was a weighty question. We were 18; there was so much life to be lived after our release from the confines of public high school, so much freedom to enjoy. There was college. There was dorm life and that first apartment. There were parties to throw, attend and crash. There were boys. And there were girls.

Then, after all that, there was that ever-so-important career. And marriage. And kids. And a rocking chair on the porch.

Would it be ours?

The question wasn't so silly as it sounds now. Our families had stored gallons of water and cans of food in the basement. We'd been stockpiling candles. Butter tubs that actually contained gold sat nonchalantly in our fridges.

Would the world end before we entered fully into it?

No. No it would not. I'm happy to report the drop of the glass ball that year did not usher in chaos. Or ruin. Or desolation. At least not for average middle class Americans like us. (The majority of the world's population that lives in desperate poverty and disease is another issue. I doubt Y2K would have upended their already destitute lives much.)

Most of my classmates did go to college. There were first apartments, all-nighters, parties, first love. For many, there was -- and yet is -- a career, a husband or wife, children, travels. Life carried on.

Life carries on. As we stand on the brink of the last year of The 20 Aughts, I am glad for that. I rejoice with friends who announce engagement. I recently cried with joy when my friend Sarah texted to say she and her husband were expecting a baby boy. And I felt genuinely happy when I received a letter from my friend John saying he was going to serve as a missionary journalist in Singapore. Life carries on.

And yet, if you'll allow me a moment to be honest, I'm sad as I stand here looking behind at 2009 and ahead at 2010.

It's not that 2009 was a bad year; it was fantastic. It was full of variety and slightly odd, but it was good all the same. I cultivated awesome friendships; I worked for the government; I went to El Salvador; I worked for a Christian nonprofit; I bought a car; I edited a book.

And it's not that I fear what is to come in 2010. Per my usual, I've got some good adventures planned.

It's that I find myself asking the same questions I asked ten years ago: Will I graduate? Will life be mine?

I went to college. I didn't attend many parties, but some. I got a career. I traveled. I fell in love.

Thing is, love fell away from me. And silly as this sounds, I feel like life stopped. I mean, I don't feel that way all the time. I'm happy. I love the life God has given me. But sometimes, I feel that way.

Like today. Today I feel alone. And I so wish I wasn't.

Alas, tomorrow is another year. Farewell Aughts.